A lot of us feel like we don't deserve to have our dreams come true, or have good
things happen to us. And sometimes, no matter how far we've made it or how much
we've already accomplished, we still don't feel content. Why is that? The answer isn't an
easy one. Most likely, it's when we grapple with feelings of self-loathing. Self-loathing
is defined as hatred for oneself that often manifests as anger, self-sabotage, a negative
view of oneself, and low self-esteem. It's important for a person to be aware of their
feelings and attitudes towards themselves. So they can start to change for the better.
Here are seven signs you may be suffering from self-loathing and just don't know it.
One, you tear yourself down. Self-hate makes you your own worst critic. Keeping
an eye on your shortcomings is a good thing. But not allowing yourself room to breathe
stems from an immense dislike for your current self. You think extremely harsh things
about yourself and indulge in self-pity a lot. So much that tearing yourself down has
become a daily habit for you. Everyone makes mistakes. But you're so hard on yourself
that you can't forgive yourself when you mess up. You're quick to blame yourself whenever
something goes wrong, even if it's not your fault. You never commend yourself for a job
well done, but rather, criticize yourself for even the tiniest of mistakes. You're plagued
by feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and inadequacy that manifest themselves as frequent
complaints about yourself and your life.
Two, you feel insecure around others. If you find that other people make you feel
insecure about yourself a lot, it might be time to ask yourself why? Most likely, it's
becauseyou're constantly comparing yourself to them, and feeling like you'll never be
able to measure up no matter what you do. Subjecting yourself to this kind of harsh
judgment is a definite sign that you hate yourself. When you look at someone else, you
always focus on all the things that they have that you don't. And it makes you ungrateful
for all the good things you do have. You can't help it feel bad about yourself whenever
you're around someone who's happy, confident, smart, attractive, or successful.
Three, you neglect your self-care. Do you want your loved ones to be happy and
taken care of? Chances are, you probably answered yes right away. Because when you
love someone, you want what's best for them. So if you really loved yourself, you'd want
that for you too. This is why neglecting your self-careis a form of self-hatred. You don't
sleep well. You're not eating right. You don't exercise. You don't try to look nice for
yourself. And you don't do things that make you happy. It's not that you don't have the
time or can't be bothered enough. It's more about refusing yourself the pampering
because of a deep-seated grudge with yourself. Since your insides are at war with you,
it only seems right to let yourself show it outwardly as well. So when you look in the
mirror, all you see is a haggard reflection, unworthy of love. And that's how you like it.
Four, you don't let yourself be happy. You're a pessimist who's quick at finding
the negative aspect in every situation. You're wary of compliments or praise. Because it
seems mocking. You don't see yourself in a positive light and refuse to believe what
others say. However, you do take their criticism to heart. Because it reinforces your view
of yourself. You're not comfortable letting other people help as you believe your troubles
are yours alone and you deserve them. You find it hard to feel good about yourself. And
this is what sucks all the joy out of your life. You resent the way you are and deprive
yourself from anything, even remotely akin to delight. These are just a few of the ways
that you deny yourself happiness, perhaps even unknowingly as you fester in your own
self-hatred.
Five, you isolate yourself from others. You struggle to maintain relationships
with others because you feel like you don't deserve their love. Often, you feel their
attention and love is a burden for you. You don't consider yourself good enough to
remain in the circle. Since you have a low concept of your own self, you feel like they're
judging you as well. It may look like they're doing you a favor by including you. So you
stay back because you think they're better off without you. You feel guilty for hanging
out with them because you believe your presence is an intrusion upon them. And
you're holding them back. Your inability to love yourself makes you unwilling to accept
love from others as well. As a result, you isolate yourself to refrain from inconvenienc-
ing others with your presence.
Six, you put on a facade for others. You're one way when you're by yourself,
and then another when you're around other people. You wear a mask and don't let other
people see the real you. Because you hate who you are. You try so hard to fit in and be
liked by everyone and you constantly wish that you were someone else. You feel ashamed
of your true self. And you think that no one will ever be able to accept you. So you'd
rather pretend to be someone you're not.
And seven, you're afraid to dream big. Having ambition and dreaming something
big for yourself scares you. You smother your own hopes and aspirations because you
think you'll never be able to achieve them. So what's the point? You look down on yourself
and all that you can do, and refuse to leave your comfort zone. The possibility of failure
and rejection terrifies you. You easily feel discouraged and worthless the moment you
encounter a setback. You deny yourself opportunities to grow and have no experiences
because you don't believe in yourself. Your insecurities make it hard for you to see your
capabilities. And you can allow yourself to succeed. We all have a lot of self-destruc-
tive behaviors that are toxic for our mental health and emotional wellbeing. So many of
us struggle with feelings of insecurity, emptiness, and worthlessness that it can some-
times lead us to hating ourselves.
Becoming more aware of your self-hatred makes it easier for you to overcome
it. And with time, patience, support and dedication, you can learn to love yourself and
live a happier, healthier life. Did these points remind you of someone? Maybe yourself?
Can you now see where such behavior stems from and why? Did these points make it
easier for you to name your emotions and behaviors? Please let us know in the
comments below. Also, share this video with anyone you think might benefit from it.
And we'll see you in the next one.